Rob Bloom / ACD

There’s a cow named after me in Kenya.

My photo appeared in a Michael Jackson biography.

When I was eight, I started ROB® Magazine, a monthly publication known for its wit, sophistication, and booger jokes.

I once pitched an ad campaign to Jon Bon Jovi. He bought the idea on the spot.

Pro wrestling legend King Kong Bundy said to me, “you’re a very talented man.”

I’ve written comedy for the Cartoon Network, The Onion, McSweeney’s, and NPR.

I was a Disney character where I made the magic happen for an international audience with runny noses and fanny packs.

I’ve sat at Stephen Colbert’s desk.

I wrote a short screenplay that was produced by the Upright Citizens Brigade and played in 20,000 theaters across the country.

Auditioned for a part in “Rocky Balboa.” Didn’t get it but I did talk to Frank Stallone. Outside a port-a-potty.

For seven years, I wrote a syndicated humor column that was praised by the Erma Bombeck Foundation, as well as my parents who hung it on the fridge with magnets shaped like fruit.

I got into this business because I love ideas. Concepting them, creating them, selling them. Plus, I wanted to wear shorts to work.