Let me tell you some things about being friends with Ryan North.

1. This is a picture from one of my book launches. On the right you can see my friend Ryan interviewing me about horror movies and things that we like. It is scary being up on stage in front of people, but Ryan agreed to do it because he is a pal! You will notice that he is wearing a shirt in this photo. This is unusual.

2. This is a picture from Ryan's book launch! I am interviewing him this time! I thought for sure it would make us even on the friend score, but then after this interview he gave me a hug, and he said, "I appreciate our friendship." How can I compete with that? I also interviewed him one time on the internet, too. Have you ever tried interviewing your friends? You should!

3. Sometimes Ryan and I hang out with other friends too. I know that seems like it wouldn't be as good, but when your other friend is John Campbell it is sometimes even better! It's crazy. We went to the fair and Ryan had so much fun his shirt popped open.

4. And then it flew right off! John must have felt bad for him, so he pulled his own shirt up. I didn't know what to do. Things were getting awkward! So I said, "have you guys ever ridden on a foot massager?"

5. Luckily there were enough foot massagers for everyone! Ryan got his shirt back on, mostly, and so the security guards said we didn't have to pay the fine. That's what it is like to go to the fair with Ryan.

6. Sometimes Ryan gets thirsty and he needs a friend to help him get something to drink. Here he is at a party, and I am helping him drink a premixed mojito. Normally he drinks coolers. But big manly coolers. And his tongue turns red! One time, me and Ryan had a rap battle

7. After I helped him drink a bunch of those mojitos, I put a tiara on his head and he went to sleep at the table. Being friends with Ryan is like having a 15 foot tall Barbie Doll.

8. I wrote a poem for my friend Ryan. He does a comic about dinosaurs. That is important to know, or this poem just seems silly. Also, he is married to Jenn who is also my friend! But does Jenn know about this photo? (Yes.)

Do you want to hear the poem?

Our love is a love that never dies,
Our love is the prettiest tie that ties,
Our love is a dinosaur that tries and tries,
and tries and tries and tries and tries.